Tod und Verklärung

"In a far away land... a song that has no name..." This is the beginning words to "The Nameless One", written in 2004 in Chicago. I was still living on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, and I was thinking about my family in that "far away land", and how the world we've been given to live in, our personal world, is so fragile.

When I grew up I felt like I was living in what seemed like a magical universe without end. But as my life began to span two continents, time was brought into my world. A lot of people have told me how scary it is to grow older. But I personally don't care so much about that, since I know life is a journey, and all trips must eventually come to a close or transform in a way that does not allow us to continue in the form and shape that we know now. But the beautiful company we can keep in life, is so tied up to that specific journey. Love is such a strong force in us. And like a nuclear bomb, the effect is unbelievable when it comes apart. When we have to leave the world, we might go on in some form. My mind is not closed to that possibility, especially since I have had experiences that indicate this, including messages from those who are now travelling in other realms, to those still here. On the other hand, there is a famous saying: It's all in your mind...

Makes me wonder... My grandfather was my great hero. I lived in paradise. But one day he was gone. I see him in my dreams sometimes. And I believe he travels from the world of the dead to see me. My other grandfather is also gone. I saw him only once or twice in dreams. My grandmother who recently passed on at 91, I only faintly recall seeing again. Perhaps there are various levels of depth to their world, and their mission in the world (of all worlds) decides where they go, or if they stay in the twilight realms to be with us who are still living physically on earth.

But back to "The Nameless One". I am not a realised master so I can't exist in two places at one time (I wonder if there are any truly realized masters in the world, or if those individuals, some of which I have admired so deeply from the vantage point of a curious and awed reader, are merely the result of their followers projected dreams and hopes). So my world became divided. I was wondering where "home" was. As I was travelling between two "worlds". I understood clearly, that whatever place we consider home, as everything else, this place is also subject to the universal force of creation/destruction. We are never safe. Even though we picture life to be ever so calm and harmonious. Storms rage mercilessly on the edge of that world.



I look at old people. I wonder how it feels. I still remember turning 18. It's a long time ago now. But from there to now, it went so fast I can hardly account for how I got here. I am still me, still the same mind and heart beating in my body, and I know I felt the same when I was 8 - and believe I will feel part of that same feeling when I am 80 (God willing!). We're just here in the now. We can't remember being born, so in a sense our present state of being is all we know. We don't know of any kind of beginning. Just that we are, that we experience. And as a result, I don't think we can really see it end. Unless we look at our dreams. They end every night. Every night a world is created and every morning it is destroyed. In our dreams we die every morning! How many deaths have we gone through? I've even missed people I've met in dreams...

"And when I wake... I am gone".

A friend of mine just said that he didn't want to spend any time around people who weren't really serious about what they are doing. Which is my belief exactly. George Harrison, whose musical/spiritual legacy I admire greatly, said that "everything can wait but the search for God can not wait". It's completely true. We must live in the now, but we have work to do. We have to build our character, we have to prepare for the future, personally, physically, and spiritually. Those preoccupied with self-gratifying actions with no spiritual value and idle relationships can only take away our time. It's like throwing yourself into a waterfall. You feel the chill of the water for a second and swooosh - you're gone in an instant. I try to center myself, to find peacefulness at the center of my being, so that I can enjoy the beauty of life without getting distracted by sadness or fear or other pointless indulgences - good or bad.

This peacefullness, is home.

I admire those who stay disciplined, stay on the path. It's hard, when we are humans, living and dying, having felt the touch of destiny, without really understanding what this force is.

But we have no time to lose.
It's here, now.
Life calls.